Biblical Perspectives on Disowning and Dealing with Difficult Family Members

By Samantha CollinsLast Updated September 17, 2025

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Understanding the Biblical Stance on Family Relationships

Family relationships can be deeply rewarding, but they also can present significant challenges. Many individuals struggle with questions about their responsibility to family members, especially when those relationships become unhealthy or even harmful. This article explores what the Bible says about disowning family members and how to deal with relatives whose behavior may be considered evil or toxic. We examine key passages, offer practical steps, and address common misconceptions to provide a comprehensive, action-oriented guide for navigating these difficult situations from a biblical perspective.

The Biblical Call to Honor and Care for Family

The Bible repeatedly emphasizes the importance of caring for and honoring one’s family. In 1 Timothy 5:8 , Paul writes, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” This strong language highlights the expectation that followers of Christ should prioritize the welfare of their family members, offering both material and emotional support [2] .

Similarly, the commandment to “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12) is central to biblical teaching and is the only commandment accompanied by a promise of well-being and longevity. This principle encourages respect, care, and ongoing connection within the family unit [1] .

What About Disowning Family Members?

Despite the strong emphasis on family loyalty, some passages in the New Testament have been interpreted as giving permission-or even a command-to “disown” family members for the sake of faith. For example, Jesus says, “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37). However, biblical scholars and Christian leaders caution against using such verses to justify severing ties with family, as the broader scriptural context does not support outright rejection of relatives as a standard practice [1] .

Jesus summarized the law with two great commandments: love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Importantly, “neighbor” includes family members-even those with whom you may disagree or have conflict [1] . There is no biblical mandate to disown family for religious reasons; rather, the emphasis is on demonstrating love, patience, and forgiveness wherever possible.

Dealing with Evil or Toxic Family Members

While the Bible calls believers to love and care for family, it also acknowledges that some relationships can be harmful. In cases where family members act in ways that are destructive or “evil,” the New Testament offers guidance on setting boundaries. Titus 3:10-11 advises, “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.” This principle can be applied to family situations where repeated efforts at reconciliation have failed and ongoing interaction leads to harm [3] .

Setting boundaries does not necessarily mean disowning someone in a legal or formal sense. It can involve limiting contact, seeking outside support, or creating safe emotional and physical distance while still maintaining a spirit of forgiveness and hope for eventual reconciliation. Many Christian counselors recommend prioritizing personal safety and well-being, particularly in cases involving abuse or ongoing harm.

Practical Steps for Navigating Difficult Family Dynamics

If you are struggling with a challenging family relationship, consider the following steps:

Seek wise counsel: Speak with a trusted pastor, licensed counselor, or support group. They can offer objective guidance and help you clarify your next steps.
Set healthy boundaries: Establish clear limits on what behavior you will accept. Communicate your boundaries respectfully and consistently.
Prioritize safety: In cases of abuse or ongoing harm, your well-being and that of dependents should come first. You may need to limit or cease contact, at least temporarily.
Pursue reconciliation when possible: If circumstances change, remain open to the possibility of rebuilding the relationship, guided by wisdom and discernment.
Pray for guidance: Many Christians find comfort and direction through prayer, seeking God’s wisdom in complex situations.

For additional support, you can search for local faith-based counseling centers or Christian family support groups in your area. Many churches and organizations offer confidential resources for those navigating family conflict.

Examples and Applications

Consider the following real-world scenarios:

Case 1: Ongoing Verbal Abuse A woman finds that interactions with her parent consistently lead to emotional distress. After repeated attempts to set boundaries, the toxic behavior continues. Following biblical guidance, she seeks counsel from her church, sets clear boundaries, and limits contact. She remains open to future reconciliation but prioritizes her mental health and safety [3] .
Case 2: Disagreement Over Values A man feels pressured to sever ties with his sibling who has made life choices at odds with his beliefs. He reflects on Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” and chooses to maintain the relationship, practicing acceptance and ongoing dialogue, while respectfully expressing his views [1] .
Case 3: Safety Concerns In a situation involving physical danger, immediate action is needed. The individual contacts law enforcement and seeks help from a licensed counselor or shelter. The Bible’s teachings support prioritizing safety while remaining open to healing when possible.

Alternative Approaches and Additional Considerations

Not all family conflicts require the same response. In some cases, mediation or family therapy may be effective. In others, a period of distance may be necessary for healing. The Bible supports both forgiveness and accountability, and it is possible to love someone from a distance when ongoing relationship is not healthy.

For those seeking further information or support, consider searching for “Christian family counseling services” or contacting local faith communities. If you are in immediate danger or facing abuse, contact emergency services or a local shelter for immediate assistance.

Key Takeaways

The Bible consistently calls for honoring and caring for family, but also recognizes the need for boundaries in cases of persistent harm.
Disowning family is not a biblical mandate; rather, love, forgiveness, and reconciliation are encouraged wherever possible.
Setting boundaries is biblically supported when necessary for safety and well-being.
Seek wise counsel, prioritize safety, and remain open to reconciliation guided by prayer and discernment.